Gene, or his handler, wants to take this slowly, for Elsa to enjoy herself. Take solace from this crazy world, he seems to be saying. He is looking off, into the distance. Honestly, where would the Meg White , Paris Hilton , Screech , and Sizemore tapes have been without obscuring, impenetrable gray fuzz screening us from the horrors occurring before our eyes? Gene comes in for another kiss. I'm guessing she was worried his massive tongue would somehow reach into her body, then find and crush her still-beating heart. Or maybe there's some kind of monitor set up where he can see how he looks on camera? After 40 seconds of coupling, a change: Oh, and sorry about how much more fucked up your kids are about to be. Past the lower left corner of the bed, where Elsa looked before. Can a washed-up rock-and-roll bassist and an Australian marketing "babe" called Elsa make it in a hostile world when all they've got is a video camera, some pillows shaped like cats — and each other? Now this mountain I must climb, feels like the world upon my shoulders Through the clouds I see love shine, it keeps me warm as life grows colder Elsa is a paid energy drink enthusiast, and that is not hard to believe as she has her way with Simmons. How could Gene Simmons, second only to Wilt Chamberlain in the field of bimbology, betray his longtime girlfriend by sleeping with a blond Austrian supermodel in a hotel room far away while on tour promoting energy drinks? They rearrange their bodies. I've watched the Gene Simmons sex tape just so that I can discuss it for the benefit of you heathen monkeys. A minute and ten seconds of tender union have passed. I expect rose petals strewn at my feet wherever I go, including to the kitchen where I will grab a steak knife and gouge out my eyes.