And two, no matter who you have sex with for the first time, it's bound to be awkward and painful as hell. And because of performance anxiety, sex with a partner is usually an acquired taste, whereas sex with a partner who doesn't know what she is doing makes things much more anxiety ridden than they need to be. They can be easily treated with over-the-counter remedies. If you're having trouble relaxing, try playing soothing music, focusing on your breathing, or simply laughing with your partner. Some people who have vulvas naturally have more hymenal tissue than others, according to Planned Parenthood , so penetrative sex — meaning penis-in-vagina sex, fingering, or using an internal sex toy like a dildo or strap-on — might be more painful for them than others because it can stretch the hymen. I had my first girlfriend who was about my age when I was in kindergarten, and we experimented with sex, but it was more accurately described as "heavy petting. She suggests reaching out to a clinical sexologist, who can help you work through ways to make sex feel better. If pain or discomfort with penetration continues, consider talking with a health care provider about what you are experiencing. My first experience with intercourse was shortly after I turned 15, and it was less than it could have been because of performance anxiety on my part. The first time you have vaginal sex, it may hurt, or feel good, or both. They will be able to investigate any possible underlying causes for the pain. Pregnancy can also happen if cum gets on or near your vulva your outside genitals , or if fingers that have wet cum on them touch your vulva or vagina. As an example, Touched by a finger We barely teach them what sex is," Dr. In rare cases, people may need to see a doctor for a small procedure to open their hymen.