Yet I am still haunted daily by the image of her with another man, and by memories of the happy family holiday we had around that time, which now feels tainted by what she disingenuously describes as a "horrible" secret. The former continue in inaccurate data spread virally on social media, pointing to false statistics about the prevalence of sexual assaults by black men. In pride of place is a swing. But the paucity of single black men with similar lifestyles led her to consider dating someone of a different race. Thankfully, my wife has recovered from her depression and our marriage is better than ever. Although I try not to refer to the affair, not a day goes by when I don't feel a sense of grief and hurt well up inside me; it really is like a bereavement. The agony eased as a result. My friend Miranda has accompanied me here for moral support. But it's easy to see how a climate of withholding and keeping smaller secrets can easily lead to bigger ones. And thirdly, they are just more dominant. But in Britain, black people are far more likely to enter into interracial relationships than other people of colour. When I ask if they feel fetishised because of their race, they vigorously deny it. Studies suggest that this is happening on a wider scale. I never tell him about my girlfriends' secrets, because he'd be judgmental and disapproving. In purely evolutionary terms, men are programmed to sleep with lots of women, and women are programmed to attract and retain a quality mate. Then, she explains, the lights are dimmed, and people begin retreating to a series of decadent playrooms. Instead of dwelling on your lackluster sex life, focus a little more on the emotional connection you share with your wife, Nelson said.